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About myself and my autoerotic journal

The "specs"


Name Tom Lovejoy (well... it's an alias obviously)
Birth date August 1968
Gender male
Ethnic group caucasian
Height 180 cm / 5"10'
Weight approx. 73 kg / 160 lbs, or somewhat more nowadays...
Location Germany
Sexual orientation 99% heterosexual *) why - read below
Autoerotic aphrodisiacs water, public places, nature... and many many more

 

Why am I doing this?

Well, icon tom2somehow I am surprised myself... I have never had any exhibitionist tendencies. When I do 'it' in public places, I take greatest care not to be caught in the act, and I would hate to know from my circle of friends or family to know that I do what I do here, let alone see me doing it.
But as I described in the episode Filming myself masturbating, filming myself masturbating has always excited me very much. But occasions were rare because, for a long time, video equipment was too expensive for me. Then the digital revolution changed everything, with affordable video cameras on the one hand, and the possibilities to publish anonymously in the web. Watching myself on video, and knowing that others can watch them has aphrodisiac effects on me. So now I should maybe call myself a 'virtual exhibitionist'.

I would claim that I am kind of an expert on masturbation, I have done it soo many times - but most men have, I suppose. I have probably spent more time wanking than with any hobby... My conservatively estimated numbers are: from 11 to 17 years I have masturbated almost daily, but at least 5 times per week, from 17 to 22 maybe 6 times a week, then dropping to about every second day until tuday (all this indepentently of whether I was in a relationship or not). This results in approx. 6780 autoerotic episodes (as of 2016 when I started to write this journal) . On the other side, there are 11.5 years I spent in longer relationships, with about 2 times sex per week, plus about 100 episodes happening in short relationships/affairs, in total only about 1350 sex episodes. That's a ratio of about  5 : 1, or almost 5 times more masturbation episodes than sex with a woman (cf. Rationale, point 2 of Rationale 1).

I suppose I am just a 'normal guy'... I grew up in a 'normal' family, with a younger sister, in villages and small towns - we moved some times during my childhood. I had a 'normal' schooling and professional education and normal day jobs and hobbies, apart from the one which is the topic here. I have repeatedly lived in longer relationships, however, I'm not married nor do I have children, so I am not 'normal' in this respect. Well, I suppose nurturing this kind of passion or 'hobby' might be more difficult if I were.

Throughout my life there has never been any doubt about my sexual orientation, I've always been 100% into women. So why is there 99% stated in the overview above? There have been a few occasions when my sexual drive seemed to be far above my average, on which I have fantasized about erotic contacts with men - in a fairly one-sided way, however. The fantasy usually was how it would be to touch the 'private parts' of a man during an erotic massage, maybe fellatio, not more. But first, this has never lead to real action, and second, it feels more like curiousity how it would feel to touch someone in that way than being attracted to men as persons.

What is characteristic about my autoerotic preferences: As you will read in my story, I started with hands-free masturbation, i.e. rubbing on my bed - in porn speech called 'dry humping' or 'pillow (or mattress) humping' - and this is still (or actually: again) one of my favourite techniques. Moreover, everything that has to do with water has always been a great turn-on, such as swimming naked, being in the rain, the shower, public swimming pools, thermal baths and saunas and the like. And I find clandestinely pleasuring myself in public places extremely arousing, as well as being naked in the nature. I like experimenting with new positions, techniques, or toys, always trying to widen my horizon and find new ways and nuances of pleasure.

You can read about all this and more - and watch my explicit videos - in my journey entries.

 

Overview of Tom's Journal

Here's the overview over my autoerotic journal. The concept of re-enactment videos is central to one part of it: as there are usually no videos of autoerotic activities during my younger years, I produced videos in which I re-enact the described episodes.

Tom's journal is divided into three parts:

  • Historical Episodes cover my autoerotic history from childhood until a few years ago, recapitulating my sexual development, as far as autoerotic activities are concerned. The episodes describes in detail in what ways my autoerotic habits evolved over the years. Most episodes contain fully explicit, re-enacted videos of how I remember these events.
     
  • Current Episodes Part 1 (2013-2018) and Part 2 (2019 until present) recount more recent masturbation techniques and endeavours, from the time I started filming myself, divided into two time-spans. So they contain «real» video episodes, not re-enactment videos.

Historical Episodes

 

historical episodes

Episodes 2013-2018

 

episodes 2013-2018

Most Recent Episodes

 

most current episodes