Rationale: Why is a website on masturbation meaningful or desirable?

Publishing on a taboo topic always raises the question how such an effort can be justified - even more so when the topic is of sexual nature (and the goal is not making money like in porn). Most people would agree that sexual intercourse with a partner is the more important part of human sexuality than masturbation. I claim, however:

On the one hand, there is no doubt that, regarding human procreation, making love with a partner of the other sex is more important, and there are many other aspects of sex with another human being that are missing in masturbation.
On the other hand, when we look at how many people regularly engage in self-love, and compare how much time is devoted to both of these activities, it might also be the other way round.
Thomas Szasz (fellow of the American Psychiatric Association) defined "Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure."

The reason for the first rationale can be stated in two parts:

1. Almost everybody does it...

...or have done so a some point in their lives, or will. Well, I am a wanker. I bluntly admit it... aren't you? I have been a wanker all my life since the age of about 13, and will be till the end of my life (or as long my bodily functions allow for it).  What is usually understood as an insult should not be one, as almost everyone - men even more so - masturbate more or less regularly.

As usual with taboo topics, the web delivers various estimates or research results, often wildly differing. The Kinsey report (1950) states that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan. A british survey (2007) found that in individuals aged 16 to 44, 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives, while the Merck Manual gives the following statistics: 97% of men and 80% of women have masturbated. As far as men are considered, a popular saying states that 99 percent of men of all ages masturbate regularly and the other one percent are liars. Possibly not far from the truth...

Other findings and estimates can be found, and the results partly depend on the definition of masturbation (cf. my working definition). If only self-stimulation with the (intended or attained) goal of reaching orgasm is counted, the numbers will be lower compared to when also more 'casual' self-stimulation is considered, such as touching one's genitals a little longer than necessary during bodily hygiene. Given how good it feels and how readily available it is, I find it very hard to believe that there could be healthy human individuals who never stimulate themselves on a more or less regular basis, even if they would not go as far as trying to reach an orgasm.

2. Most people masturbate more often than having sex with a partner

Even if there was some proportion of mankind who do not masturbate, we should not overlook the following fact: There are probably far more people who - at least for some time in their lives - do not have the opportunity to engage in sexual activities with a partner (or are not interested or just choose not to) than people who never engage in autoerotic activities.

It is a popular belief that people who live in a relationship with regular sexual activity masturbate less, but some findings suggest that it might be the other way round. Anyway, it seems that masturbation is just like another 'channel' of sexuality. Or in other words: people masturbate independently of whether they are in a sexual relationship or not.

It has been claimed that most people have had more orgasms from masturbation than intercourse. This might be true especially for women: Kinsey wrote that "Among all types of sexual activity, masturbation is, however, the one in which the female most frequently reaches orgasm."

As for me, a man in his "best age" (or - meanwhile - somewhat past it), this is definitely true. My conservatively estimated numbers are: from 11 to 17 years I have masturbated almost daily, but at least 5 times per week, from 17 to 22 maybe 6 times a week, then dropping to about every second day until tuday (all this indepentently of whether I was in a relationship or not). This results in approx. 6780 autoerotic episodes (as of 2016 when I started to write this journal). On the other side, there are 11.5 years I spent in longer relationships, with about 2 times sex per week, plus about 100 episodes happening in short relationships/affairs, in total only about 1350 sex episodes. That's a ratio of about  5 : 1, or almost 5 times more masturbation episodes than sex with a woman. Quite amazing, isn't it?

I feel that masturbation is also the more interesting part of sexuality. One reason is the divergent amount of coverage dedicated to the two modes of sexuality. Regarding "normal", interpersonal sex, we might already have seen everything, or at least, there's nothing about that kind of sex that cannot be found on the web. But there's another reason:

When we masturbate, we are usually alone. Nobody's there to watch and judge what we do, we can behave to our heart's content. When we have sex with another person, even with a person we deeply love and trust, most people will probably suppress certain impulses and desires because, subconciously or conscously, we wonder "What will s/he think about me?"

So when we masturbate, we might more honestly act out our deepest desires, not worrying whether somebody else approves, finds it beautiful or ridiculous etc. In my humble opinion, I think that masturbation exhibits the deepest desires rooted in human sexuality much better.

Nowadays, there are some people who like to exhibit their deepest secrets pseudo-anonymously on the web, in a kind of 'cyber-exhibitionism', be it for money or just the thrill of it. But I suppose most of them still would not want to know their friends and family about it...

The galleries below show men doing intimate things they probably would not want anybody to know about.

Continue with Masturbation (re)defined